“I just love myself, ” I exclaimed as I faced my own reflection in the mirror.
Ugh! the first couple of times I forced myself to say that was so painful. I still saw the flaws that screamed back at me- the wrinkles that showed up at the corner of my eyes, the extra ten pounds that crept around my mid-section, the remnants of the years of sadness whose shadow I still saw behind my big brown eyes.
But then, never giving up, it happened. Having said it more that 100 times to that beautiful woman looking back at me, I started to believe in that love that I had for myself. I started to believe in myself.
I decided it was time to give myself the space to truly show up and “Be Magical Meg!” if that was what I so chose to do. And, little by little, I chipped away at that solid exterior, until it happened. I just got tired of loathing myself everyday and just waiting for others to provide the evidence that matched my own theory of the failure that was me. I no longer wanted to “go to the hardware store for bread” and decided it was time. It was time to jump off the wheel that had me berating myself over and over again thinking that was the only way my life would change and one day I would get the approval I so desired.
And for the first time, as I gave myself the approval to live, I started to breathe into a life that was crazy awesome and beautiful that had been waiting for me all along. And in that shift, that same life that I felt tortured me throughout the years, began to bring me great joy merely by virtue of me saying confidently over time ” I love myself!” and actually meaning it.
“I love myself and I love my life,” my affirmation gets longer and longer. My affirmation grows stronger and stronger. My life story begins to match the sentiment that I bring to it. With all of the quirks, and magical nuances that show up, the cryptic messages soon begin to arrange themselves into a pattern that is simple and easily understood. Then the veil falls away and in the stillness of that moment, I experienced the deliciousness of showing up as me.
Why in the heck would I fight that- why would I put myself in a position where the torture chamber holds me in, when I have been given the key to liberate me. Use it – enough already- my spirit haunts me until it is heard, the ringing in my head that refuses to go away! It is time to show up for the magic and see where it take us, where it pushes us, where it cajoles us- and where it will help us shine even more! And we will learn to rejoice in our accomplishments together, laugh together at how silly we were trying to be something who we could never be. How grateful we are to be literally connected to the magical fabric and people that make up this life and with this new knowledge, step one foot in front of the other- spinning, whirling, dancing, swaying, being! Then everything we do from that moment forward becomes an answer to a prayer that was set in motion long ago when our souls chose to return to this place. Finally, finally we see that we are the magical ones resetting to our magical place that we will never want to erase. And we know with each new alignment, our chain of intermingled lives is fortified as we will carry each other home!
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