“The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.” Julia Cameron
I am in a dark forest. Just a glimmer of light lets me see that I am surrounded by tall, majestic trees. The path feels rocky. I cannot see my feet beneath me. The air feels thick as I hold my arms in front of me to help guide my way. There is no way around. I am making my way. I must go through. The mystery called me in, I trust until it has been dark for too long. Then I start to question the journey, question my choices, and question myself. This place of unknowing, I hate it actually. Relinquish control, so outside my comfort zone. A wave of fear overtakes me as the wind blows through the denseness all around. There are no external guides here, I must go within. Emotionally uncomfortable, there is no one to blame for this sadness. Trust the process is the whisper I hear through the leaves. I do not dare stop now, my life depends on it. Yet like a young child who does not get her way, my desire to throw a temper tantrum is strong. To rage out against what I perceive as injustice will not heal the wounds, yet does give me temporary relief. My tears are what comforts my soul, for I am human and the unknowing frightens me so. To make sense out of what has gone before, my curiosity turned to anger then back to curiosity again. What if I accept that I am supposed to be here in this place- not seeing the path before me quite clearly, yet knowing I need to leave behind what no longer served me. Knowing that choices made were necessary for my soul’s growth. Knowing that each step forward, even in the darkness, has purpose and meaning for they say everything is as it should be.
There is something within me that knows without question that the path I take will lead me to pure power and potential as the magic of my intentions comes to light. For there is something going on that I cannot see. Forces that are at work weaving the magic around me to help me fulfill my divine purpose. So I keep moving forward. Dust myself off, wipe away my tears, thankful for caring embrace of the universe that comes at me. I must have faith now. It has never been so hard to believe those words to be true. I am not and cannot go backwards, even if it seems so. Then the path magically turns into a spiral staircase. For it was not forward, but up that I would start to see the light at it ends. An end that brings a new beginning. I cannot stop now, something tells me that I am close, something tells me that this is the way. For in this transformation to empowerment, I am creating the life of my dreams.
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