“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Lao Tzu
Where to begin? It becomes less daunting when I remind myself that I am not starting over, I am just building upon what I have already learned. After resigning in August from my federal career after nearly 20 years, I have had a lot of processing to go through. From “Oh my God I cannot believe that I just did that” to “Thank God I finally have opened up the space to start on a new adventure”, the fluctuation of emotions at times tend to shift on a daily basis. But after going consciously through the motions for the past 3-4 months, I finally feel the pendulum that once was erratic and all over the place move closer to a new center once again. The tumult that comes from fear has slowly come to a halt. Instead of wondering if I will be ok, I truly have come to a place where I believe and know I will be. And with the full super moon over head tonight, my energy is renewed and my focus reinvigorated with the possibilities that await.
It has not come easy I will tell you that. My new mantra “speak your truth even if your voice shakes” has me throwing caution to the wind, saying what is on my mind sans filter, and not allowing others to get away with actions or words that would have previously triggered me to sabotage myself internalizing that thee must be something wrong with me- this newfound voice has proven to be a good thing in most cases, yet as I move forward stronger and stronger, taking a deep breath beforehand and asking myself whether it would be useful to share or not worth my time or energy seems to fit my new approach better. Ahhh, wisdom and hindsight is a beautiful thing really, as I have already seemed to bristle some who have crossed-hairs on my path, decluttering as I go yet feeling the consequences come over me like a giant wave, wanting to better weigh the necessity with the chance to do so being more kind.
But this journey of mine, an empowering one, has begun. There is no looking back. That one step has been taken in a new direction. With the wonder of this magical time of year and the guidance of nature and her super moon, I have made it my goal to go gently on this path, self care, self love and permission to voice out to others my limitation and my tolerations. From caring for myself and others, comes courage to move forward in faith once again. Today, I begin. And tomorrow I take another step again, and the next and the next. While I was afraid to leave my comfort zone, I have not regretted it for one moment for I will keep taking that next step until I have arrived home. 1000, 999, 998, 997, closer and closer I go. I am hopefully optimistic and I pray that God keeps sending me reminders and opportunity to look up so that I will be able to truly experience the beauty that is all around me. This is the year of empowerment, the year of the butterfly. The process of becoming stronger and more confident allows for a manifest destiny of sorts. We got this, as happily the journey begins.
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