“Call on God but row away from the rocks.” Indian proverb
Last year at this time, I had no idea I would be on a new path, on a different adventure, in this place of so much possibility. As with most moments of intense discomfort, I clearly knew where I did not want to be, there was no question of that. Yet, when contemplating a leap of faith, I stood frozen not knowing for sure if leaving my comfort zone would bring me a future I would love. I was scared of the unknown, afraid I would be easily forgotten, hard pressed to relinquish the identity I worked so hard to achieve and weighed down by indecision. Yet, in the midst of all of this, there was equally an intense knowing that something better awaited me if I chose to set out and walk away so I could walk towards a more incredible view.
So I begged for guidance. And, as I stood still trying to convince myself that I could tolerate more of the same, it was as if the energy of my desire permeated the things around me as they began to change. One by one, things unfolded as if on cue. Others ventured out boldly where I could not. My sidekick of many years left showing me a way to follow. Others entered where they had not before, replacements took over setting the scene for a different paradigm that I would not and could not be a part of. The universe beckoned for me to act, a chance to explore had me working away from what I knew, opening a door that I did not know existed before. And there, from that place, as more distance grew, I could not go back because unbeknownst to me, I had already done the hard part by rowing away from the rocks. When I could no longer see the shore, I called out to the divine for help, and from what was a place of doubt, a messenger delivered a new vision that I could grab onto. And there I was, without even realizing it, embracing a faith that had me leaping miles ahead and moving strides forward trusting that the journey would take me to my something wonderful.
Consistency, with perseverance, and awake, I shed the skin of the indecisive one, to become more of who I am meant to be. Patiently, I stood stronger, taller, more alive. Now, toasting to the brilliance that is my life, living in such a way guided by the wish fulfilled, showing up as set out by C.S. Lewis, “May it be the real I who speaks. May it be the real Thou that I speak to.” Continuing to leap in faith, towards things hoped for making a huge difference for me. Evidence appearing every day, never really doubting my path again, smiling internally for bold actions over time have served me well. For last year at this time, I had no idea I would be on a new path, on a different adventure, in this place of so much possibility today.