“Once you understand the clarity that your emotions provide. . . (y)our awareness of the way you feel will give you the clarity you have been seeking-and you will never be lost in the desert again.”
Esther & Jerry Hicks
We plan, God laughs. Starting in January of this year, my detailed plan did not begin as I hoped. During a grand night of dancing in celebration of my 48th birthday in December, I got hurt. With the champagne going to my head mixed with an amazing Latin beat, while I salsa’d to the right, my body did not follow. A sharp, stabbing pain on the left side of my back took my breath away. And, Did I stop dancing? No Way!!! And the next morning, I did not feel ok!
And as the days progress, the pain got worse, shooting down my leg. SCIATICA!!! A nuisance really. I continued spinning but refused to just walk it away. And when I tried to “work” out the kinks on a roller one fateful night, that was the final straw. I lurched back in agony, in tears and I could not even get off the ground. That was late February.
And the kicker!?! Guess what was a part of my “plan” in April? I was one of two organizers for a S.H.I.N.E. Adventure to Northern Spain, a 117 km, 75 mile walk with 17 pilgrims on El Camino de Santiago. I was scheduled to go on a spiritual journey known to be very challenging for many. What about someone who could not even get up? I guess my journey of a thousand miles started on that day.
I was freaking out. How in the hell was I ever going to move forward now? I had a visual roadmap that I set up for guidance on my life/career transition: the Trinity of Clarity. It is a triangle that set out 3 areas of my primary focus for external healing and 3 for internal healing: Purpose at the outer top point/ inside, health; Education, on the outer left point/inside, relationships; and Service on the outside right point/inside abundance and success. And, I put me smack in the center.
Above all of that, I put the following questions: “what are my desires for the year?” and “how powerful are those desires?” When I created this triangle, I listed everything that came to mind under the main categories: a healthy fit body ready to take on the world a top priority and my Non Profit organized S.H.I.N.E. Adventure to El Camino de Santiago in Spain coupled with Love Button Ambassador in the Service section. Now, how the hell would I manage that one?
However, it was the end of February and I not only was not in tip top shape, but felt like crap and was literally paralyzed by fear. It was clear that I might have to cancel this trip. It was clear that I may just fail at my new life within the first 6 months. But for those that know me well, know that I am not a quitter. So, at that moment, it was time for me to figure out what I was committed to. First step, I needed to figure out why I was so scared and how to get out of the desert that I found myself in.
It turned out that this unfolding in my life, was where the most growth would happen. For before I could move forward, I needed to take stock of my feelings and get clarity. Now this is God’s plan!
It turns out I was terrified. After taking this very public leap of faith in the direction of my most wonderful life, I was so afraid that I would fail. And not just fail in a small way, we are talking public humiliation. My greatest fear would finally come true, I would show up as me, no longer hide and the world would laugh and banish me to the shadows once again.
Yep, as I dragged my butt to physical therapy, to the acupuncture, to massages and to the chiropractor, this was going through my mind. I was in a lot of pain and that old negative voice would not let up. It was telling me over and over again: who the hell do I think I am, what am I trying to prove, and just add this failure to your very long list.
Who knew this whole experience was going to be such an important part of my story? Who knew that this was the big moment that I would suck it up and walk a road that would have me overcoming one of my biggest fears. I was about to walk 117 km without even one day of training for it. I had not even broken in my hiking shoes. I did not research this. I just wanted to learn what I needed to finally close out in a big way a 7 year period of my life.
While my cardio was good, I had no business walking up and down mountains, 13-18 miles on any given day, challenging my body and soul beyond belief. But I had a tribe that believed possibility into me. And in my own dark time, they got me to refocus on my light. That and accompanied by a little button filled with love, this was not just big, it was HUGE!
And needless to say, with a lot of help from my friends, I did it, I walked the entire thing. And crazy enough, my back was fine. My feet did not fare as well- on Day 4 of 6, on top of a crazy rash from who knows what, and blisters on every part of it, I sprained my ankle and had to hike the last approximately 25 miles wrapped up in KT tape, a brace and tight shoes. I was determined to finish this bad boy and failure was not an option!
And once I got clear with my emotions, I got to show up on that last day as I always wanted to. I put crazy awesome music on, took one step at a time and celebrated by dancing on the path to finish strong. And now it’s July and I am half way through the year! So much excitement has happened since El Camino and is awaiting me as I look upon my future.
Meanwhile, has the year been effortless brave and magical so far? Well interesting enough, when I finally chose to surrender, allow, claim my brave heart and embrace my own magic within, YES! Looking back, I see that everything that happened, needed to happen. And the internal and external healing of my Trinity is definitely in process because I am showing up more and more authentically.
My elevator pitch: A woman who sets out on the greatest leap of faith. After months on the path, while the audience can see that she is almost there, she does not.to She starts questions why she is on the journey. She gets lost in the desert of fear, sadness, depression, and desperation. When she is about to turn around and head back, you can almost hear the audience holding its breath. Then something happens to her, she starts to see herself and the possibility of her life. She faces her own magic and chooses not to give up!
That is what happens when we all embrace our authentic self with a confidence that encourages us on. You start to live your life from a place of Effortless Brave Magic! Half Way through 2018, there is no turning back! This is so much bigger than we think. We got this!
For more inspiration, got to www.megnocero.com.